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Henry Miller once said, “The world is not to be put in order, the world is order incarnate. It is for us to put ourselves in unison with this order.” These words teach us acceptance. Despite whatever shortcomings we see in things around us, we should learn to accept them, including our children.

 To accept your child does not mean that you go straight into their room and tell them that you like them, love them and accept them. Acceptance is reflected in your reaction when your child comes to you with his result card and his marks are not up to your expectation. Do you encourage him at that very moment? If yes, it means you accept him. When he comes with the news that he lost the match or he could not win a prize in the declamation contest, do you listen to him patiently? If you maintain your calm on hearing this, it means you accept him.

 I know many parents who always condemn their wards for one reason or the other. They are always telling their children that they are not doing well. They want to accept their child on their own terms. This can start to cause a lot of problems for the present as well as for the future.

 It is advisable to start accepting and befriending your children at an early stage. Praise them from the core of our hearts and give full credit to all of their strengths and weaknesses. This way, we will naturally come closer to them and our kids would have found in us the best person for friendship.

 My suggestion to parents and also to teachers is to stop finding faults in children all the time. We should rather encourage them at every opportunity and explore what is good in them. They should feel that their elders are their backbone. We should act in such a way that our children do not develop a sense of fear in our presence. They should rather feel safe and secure in our hands.

 Have you ever had the courage to know what kind of parents your kids wanted? What if you were told that you are not up to their expectations! What will happen to you? You will be heartbroken. So, place yourself in their situation. You will soon learn how to deal with them. It will help you in accepting your children just the way they are and thus pave the way for a closer relationship!

 – B. K. Shori

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