We all realize that we can help others only by helping ourselves. Whether it is our children, our family-members, our students, our colleagues or our friends, we can continue a journey of love and peace in harmony with them only if we are aware of ourselves first. 

By changing the title, we do not imply any major changes in the content of the booklet. Those who have kept up with all of our issues will recall that most articles of these booklets have appeared under different categories, all of them emphasizing the need of self-analysis.

It is important to remember that ‘All the wonders you seek are within yourself’. To be able to journey with children and others, we need to peek within ourselves, come face-to-face with our ‘wonders’ and create more. It will help us to have a better understanding of our own self, our own likes and dislikes, in a rational way. This way we shall have better understanding of others too.  It will enable us to continue on this journey of togetherness and keep growing with each step. 

        Written by the renowned poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, I present this famous poem to you along with my own reflection of each verse. Feel free to skip my interpretation and read only the straight, non-italicized lines of the poem (for that is how I would read it, if I were you). Subject it to your own interpretation. No two souls are alike, no two minds are alike. My experiences in life situate my thoughts in a perspective that may probably be very different from what you have experienced and ‘lived’.

       Through the italicized words, I try to unfold the poem from my own point of view, taking it from an abstract to a more concrete level. So take this poem and do with it what you want. But whatever you do, try to utilize it in some way in the way you live.

A Psalm of Life

(HW Longfellow)

 Tell me not in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream!

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

And things are not what they seem.

I read this and think of how we are ‘made to believe’ about who we are and what our reality is. The process starts at a very young age. Children listen to stories, watch incidents and silently participate in discussions that impart in them a sense of what is important and what is true. This subconscious sense will then shape the direction of how they live their life.

 Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

Our identity is not because of our visible bodies. It is our soul that defines us. The body, composed of the five elements, will return back to the five elements one day. But that is not the fate of the soul. The latter continues its journey, even after this body is gone. And it is this journey of the soul that is the real life!

 Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

Is our destined end or way;

But to act, that each tomorrow

Find us farther than today.

In this journey, the only thought we need to keep close to our heart is that every day should take us higher than before. With our minds and bodies, we need to follow our souls, leaving behind all hurdles. At the end of the journey it does not matter how much fun we had or how much distress we were in; all that matters is how far we proceeded towards our soul in this human frame.

 Art is long, and Time is fleeting,

And our hearts, though stout and brave,

Still, like muffled drums, are beating

Funeral marches to the grave.

Whether we like it or not, this present life will come to an end. Our bodies will be buried or cremated. It does not help to close our eyes to this reality and say, “We shall see when the time comes.” Instead, it would be more befitting to prepare for the end. No matter how strong or sturdy a living being was during his or her lifetime, one day the body will surely be one with the dust.

In the world’s broad field of battle,

In the bivouac of Life,

Be not like dumb, driven cattle!

Be a hero in the strife!

We have spent enough of our precious time just blindly following others in the world. We have handed ourselves to the will of the world without giving it a thought. We let them do the thinking for us, let them take our decisions and surrender ourselves without the least struggle. It takes real courage to stand straight and tall when the world is pushing us down from all sides.

 Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!

Let the dead Past bury its dead!

Act, – act in the living Present!

Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Often, we engage ourselves in thoughts of what happened in the past, leading ourselves to fret and regret. At other times, we think of the future and make plans to make it better in the times to come. When we do so, we live our life either like a ghost or like a fantasy creature. Rarely do we spend time living like a human being, thinking of what and who we are in the present. We should live life the way it was meant to be— remembering the internal strength and chastity that our soul possesses and realizing the presence of God with us at every step.

 Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sand of time;

Living a worthy, coveted lifestyle is not impossible. We have many examples in history to remind us what it really is like to be a worthy human being. Leave alone history, we probably have examples in our personal life which impart a sense of what life truly means. These are inspirations which we should use to guide our own lives. What use is a brain and intellect if we are not going to put it to use to learn lessons from others?

 Footprints, that perhaps another,

Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

In the past, people have struggled to make their own and others’ lives richer, fuller, better and more comfortable. We need to use those struggles to remind us that ‘no matter what, we cannot quit’. In our own life we need to model this behaviour so that our children can get inspiration from our actions, from our courage and strength and from our ability to keep going bravely. There is no room for weaklings. Polish up your strengths and pave the way for the world to do the same.

 Let us then be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labor and to wait.

Enough time has been wasted in dilly-dallying, in thinking, in grieving, in planning. It is time to act. In our heart, we need to be strong; in our steps, we need to be firm and in our attitude, we need to be positive. There is no need being scared of what the future holds for us or what would happen if something went wrong. Once our feet are set in the right direction, our life will automatically take care of itself. All we need to do is to keep going with hope and courage.

About fifteen years ago, I had put up a poster in my room titled ‘Don’t Quit’. When I visited the room again this year, I found it was still there, much to my joy. The following verse from the poster always sticks with me

“When the funds are low

and the debts are high;

And you want to smile,

but you have to sigh;

When care is pressing you

down a bit

Rest if you must,

but don’t you quit.”

‘A Psalm of Life’ brought back the memory of those times of early youth when one wills to change the world. Neither courage, nor strength seems to be lacking. And then, as we proceed and ‘progress’ into our life, we start ‘adjusting’— adjusting to lower standards, less-than-enough expectations. Not finding enough supporters who will say, ‘Go, do it while you can’, we are instead accosted by several people who say, “Oh, I dreamt of that too when I was young. The passion will soon fade away”— a melancholy note that need not to be heeded to.

It is youth, it is childhood, when the time is ripe to take an active role in creating the world of our dreams. It is definitely possible. All we need to do is to remember our own strengths and the passion of those who have dared to carry on! That is how the world continues to rise.

~ Nivedita Shori

       I remember while walking with my parents on the pavement as a little child, I used to be constantly reminded, “Look in front of you when you walk. Then you will not fall down and will not wander away.” Sometimes, I used to bump into a stone and hurt my toe and would cry, “I can’t look on the ground at the same time as I walk.” My mother used to say, “Well, if you look in the front, you will automatically take care of the ground.”

       Whilst this is a childhood episode, I have come to believe that it is as much true today when I am an adult as it was twenty-five years ago. We often stop looking in the front and look all around us, distracted by what is going on everywhere except in the direction we are going. Resultantly, we face obstacles, get ‘hurt’ and ‘wounded’, have to stop to nurse our ‘injuries’ and spoil our own journey. Meanwhile, the world around us— the same world that caused us this ‘woe’— seems to move on just the same as before.

When an ice-cream truck passes by in the summer evenings, making a loud, cheerful noise, many mothers try to divert their children’s attention and try to keep them busy in things that they like doing. The purpose? They want their children to avoid getting distracted by the tinkling bells of the ice-cream vendor because they know that that ice-cream, coming out of unpredictable containers, cannot be healthy for the child.

       But we consider ourselves grown-up. We do not want to be guided by anyone. And indeed, that is how it should be! But unfortunately, our ability to guide our own direction is quite questionable. Our friends come over and describe a lavish holiday experience, and we want it too; a colleague mentions changing furniture, and we want it too; a neighbour has a new car parked in the driveway and we want it too; a newspaper ad mentions a new fashion trend, and we want to be part of that too! Where is our own sense of direction?

       The above examples are only little things. Needless to say, we get carried away in much stronger currents as well— to the point that we even forget who we truly are and where we are heading.

       To pursue the life of our own instincts, our own internal desires, our own real self is really very simple. So simple that we can easily lead a life full of peace and happiness. No place of any worry whatsoever. But who wants to lead such a simple life these days? The more complex it is, the better it looks and sounds to us, oblivious people. The more worries we are engrossed in, the more successful we feel— a common mindset these days.

        If we only sit and think about who we are, where we started our journey from and what our destination is, we would realize that we need not follow the world or even gaze at it longingly. As long as our goals are in line with our capabilities and our values, our journey will be self-directed— well-directed indeed! All we need to do is to focus on the next step we are going to place, forgetting about where the world is going. So we need to simply look in front of us and walk.

~ Nivedita Shori

Seeing this attitude, I sometimes wonder: Isn’t learning in itself a form of ‘earning’? The knowledge, experience and wisdom that one gathers through learning is something that has been acquired forever and that will in fact, be one’s permanent asset.

‘Earning’ in the literal sense means cash flow. It helps us lead our lives comfortably. But sometimes we take it too far. We forget there are other things to earn too. We need to ‘earn’ respect, reputation, trust and knowledge. These are some of the things that learning teaches us. All the earned cash might be reduced to nothing without a moment’s notice. And that is the time when all the ‘other’ earning that was collected through learning will help one rise over and above the trying times.

 Never cease to learn even if it doesn’t give you an opportunity to enhance your earning in the material sense of the word. After all, we don’t live to earn, we earn to live!

~ Nivedita Shori

We are all engaged in our own activities, depending upon our age and circumstances. Youngsters utilise their time in studies and in their overall development, grown-ups (people between the age of 25 and 65) usually spend most of their time in earning a livelihood and seniors (over 65 and officially over 60 in some countries) lead a relaxed retired life— a life meaningful for self and society, i.e. a life of volunteering, without taking any stresses which the other two categories (youngsters and grown-ups) seem to have.

The model which I have portrayed is the traditional one. With the passage of time huge changes are taking place in the world geographically, politically, economically, socially as well as culturally, resulting in a changed mindset. With this shift in the society there is also a significant shift in the above mentioned model. The first (youngsters) and the third (seniors) categories are not very happy with their conventional lifestyle any more. Both feel bored and want to utilise their time in a more effective and efficient manner. The middle category (grown-ups), busy in earning money, sometimes just to make both ends meet and at other times to save for the rainy day or to satiate their quench for ‘more’, does not have the time to think about any type of boredom.

Youth and seniors then, choose to go with the second category of grown-ups as well. They try their best to earn money as they find it the most worthwhile and beneficial task. Both the youngsters as well as seniors have developed their own logic to justify these actions. The first common reason is that earning money helps them to utilise their spare time or the time which they consider to be ‘unproductive’. Another reason which youngsters give is that they need money for some of their other requirements like cellphone, games, junk food, other technological and recreational needs and they also need money for their tuition fee. The logic given by the seniors is that they can’t afford the same luxurious lifestyle with the money which they are receiving as a retiree as opposed to what they used to have when they were working fulltime. Some of them even argue that they will need more resources in old age and it may be hard to survive with the limited, fixed amount they receive after retirement.

It is very hard to counter the reasons which both youngsters and seniors give in favour of doing paid jobs but if we look minutely, this practice is definitely decreasing the quality of life they are leading. ‘Quality of life’ is a vast term and if we open our mind, only then do we realize that money is a small contributor in enhancing the quality of life. There are many other things which contribute to quality of life. For example, they can use their spare time to make meaningful changes in their own life as well as in the life of others— changes to uplift humanity.

Seniors can use their expertise in volunteering at many organisations and can become major contributors in building a sensitive, strong and caring society. They can help the people older than them, they can conduct moral education classes for children and youth, help the youth to refrain from drugs and other delinquent behaviour. They can participate in many more community development activities. They can initiate new schemes to help the weaker section of the society. The satisfaction and sense of achievement which they will feel being involved in these kinds of activities will lead them towards divinity. It will give them contentment. They will be able to help their family in a better way and will also give back to the society much more by following such a lifestyle.

Youngsters should also realize the importance of volunteering their time. In most of the developed countries there are some mandatory volunteering hours which a student has to do in order to graduate. I have met many such students in community libraries and in other settings, working as volunteers. However, I was disappointed by their lack of interest and enthusiasm. It demonstrates the failure of adults to show them the importance of such a noble act.

Volunteering can help them to develop a sound moral character. It also helps to find a suitable career in future. By volunteering in different organisations and setups they will find out where their interest lies. Volunteering is an opportunity to learn as well as to serve.

Developing countries, as part of their development plan, should also modify the educational curricula with a volunteering component in it. Educators should thoroughly make youngsters understand the value of volunteering. Doing something for free does not make it insignificant. Instead it brings dignity and honour.

By focusing on youth and seniors I am not eliminating the need of volunteering for grown-ups— between the age of 25 and 65. Every one of us has a moral duty to do our best to contribute to the society by giving what we can afford either in terms of wealth or in terms of time.

— Prashant Shori

 Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves.
~ Elbert Hubbard
 

The walks and talks we have with
our two-year olds in red boots
have a great deal to do with the values
they will cherish as adults.

~ Edith F. Hunter

This seemed to be ‘getting on the nerves’ of the children. One of them could hold it no longer. Unable to control her tears, she started wailing out loud. All attention went towards her. As she wept and screamed, her parents rushed to her. They asked what was wrong.

Amidst her wails, she said, “I want the cake”.

They said, “Well, wait for just a few minutes, child! We are almost there.”

“No”, she cried, stomping her feet. “I want it right now!”

It was an uncomfortable situation to watch for everyone present. The little girl’s parents, not being able to pacify her by any means possible, requested the hosts, “Since she is the youngest one here, is it possible she could have a little piece of her own right now, since the ceremony seems to be taking long?”

Such stubbornness is a sign that patience has not been taught in the family. It was quite shocking – the unbecoming demand coming not only from the child, but being supported by the parents as well. It  showed there was not enough effort on part of the parents to teach their child any values of understanding, tolerance or endurance. What would such a child’s life be like later on? Would he be able to accept ‘no’ for an answer at an interview? Would he be able to cope with low marks? Would he be able to adjust in a relationship? Would he be able to endure pain or strife of any kind? Would he do anything for others ever?

It seems like the answer to all of the above questions would be in the negative. Such children are being prepared to lead a dissatisfied, miserable life. Such a child would live a life only for himself. He would not consider others in the decisions he takes. His focus would be on ‘receiving’ rather than on ‘giving’.

                Parents’ rationale is that “We want to give our children all possible comfort”. They work very hard and sometimes live a tough life in order to make it easier for their children. They often say, “We did not have any such conveniences that are existent today.” Sometimes, their own parents were not able to afford those conveniences. But now with a lot of emphasis on ‘work-culture’, money does not seem to be such a problem. Result? A life of ‘instant access’ for their children! Whatever children demand is provided to them as soon as possible. In some cases, the ‘supply’ is even faster than the ‘demand’. Children do not have to wait for anything.

                It is important to teach children how to live with austerity. We need to pass on the message to them that it is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice. They need to hear some stories of sacrifices and what those sacrifices mean to the world. When children have heard examples of people who lived their lives for others and did not think of their own comfort at all, it will help them have patience and endurance.

It is also essential that they see parents leading a life of austerity and contentment. Children need to see us go without some comforts too. It needs to become a family value that is practised – not just talked about. We should model pride in satisfaction. If there are some unwarranted demands from children, we need to explain the reasoning as to why it is unwarranted and unreasonable. However, mere talking does not work. Instead, we have to demonstrate through our daily living that desires have to be controlled as they have no end. For that, we ourselves need to lead a life of discipline. Only then do we understand and appreciate the true value of discipline. And only then do we become eligible to teach it to our children.

                Sometimes, our approach is, ‘It is a noble value, but not for my family!’ This takes us and our children far away from a good life.  On the other hand it should begin with us becoming better human beings – understanding the value of discipline and modeling it. Our children need to live in an environment of gratitude and contentment. When we show we are not being treated well or we do not have enough, then our children will become the same discontented lot. Our efforts might not transform our children completely into disciplined, well-mannered and content people, but whatever little our children imbibe will make their life a lot better.

~ Nivedita Shori

What is satisfaction

To be able to sleep cozy and well,

Even when things are going all pell-mell,

To be able to say ‘time will tell’,

Although the day ahead seems like ‘a job from hell’,

To count my blessings and not to rebel,

If boggling things want me to yell,

To be able to ‘curl up’ and smile in ‘my shell’!

2.

Who decides my level of satisfaction

 I and I alone have a right

To decide the peace of my day and my night

Others want to take over and guide my sight

But when life drives endurance to its height

They’re there alright, only to watch my plight

I’m learning to hold on to myself tight

It’s my own journey, my soul’s personal flight!

~ Nivedita Shori